“And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.” (Dr. Seuss – Oh the Places You’ll Go!) Now there is some literary genius! Basic truth well rhymed. It’s been almost a month since my last post. I sat down a few times to write, and it just wouldn’t come. I felt bad for not writing – there are so many of you who have been complimentary and encouraging, and I’m letting you and myself down when I don’t write. But I guess my soul has been a little dehydrated and weak for the last month or so. An accumulation of things that left me feeling like a hollow shell, a sail with no wind. So the words wouldn’t come. Not in writing, not even in conversation. Even now, it’s a struggle. My struggle. And that in the midst of a set of circumstances that our whole family recognizes as being richly blessed. We had lost Lisa, and she is found. She’s back at work full time, plus a little. She’s getting healthy and active, fitting back into clothes that she outgrew years ago. We had a really sweet Christmas day with Elise, Zac and Jake. There were those poignant moments like when Nat King Cole’s Christmas Song came on, and this orphan felt both the presence and the absence of Mom and Dad. And Bonnie, June and Dixie dogs added new and fun elements to our family dynamic. We all enjoyed a day at home together, but for me personally there was a very odd element to our Christmas. For the first time in my memory, I didn’t go to Christmas mass. Our family tradition is to go to midnight mass. I didn’t bring it up, and nobody else did either. Of all the things I could fail at, my last choice would be to fail in my duty as our family’s spiritual leader. But those words seem a little hollow at the moment. One undercurrent to our Christmas celebration was knowing that our dear friend Fr. Isidore could not freely celebrate Christ’s birth. Because of a bishop’s weak and unjust decision, this good man was separated from his family and friends. Seeing that coming, we had invited him to spend Christmas with us, and maybe to even say a family mass in our home. He wanted to join us but was forced to decline, and so I didn’t much feel like going to church. So there’s that. Mix in another personal ingredient or two, and I can too easily find myself standing in the middle of a room full of friends and family but still totally alone. Self-induced solitude. Looking for the lessons that come with each cross. Waiting for the words to come again. My problem is not with God, or even with the Catholic church. I know that God is good all the time, and that Pope Francis is a man of God. But I do have a real and significant problem with the local diocesan leadership. I don’t know if God’s lesson for me in all of this is to learn to take a loss and look for the good in it, or if I am supposed to fight for an unlikely change in that leadership. But when you have no wind in your sails, it’s hard to fight for squat. Step one: breathe deeply. I guess Step 2 would be to exhale, and then repeat. Then smile, focus on all of our many blessings, and say Happy 2018 Ya’ll!!! Please pray for Lisa’s continued healing, and for each of ours. Peace!
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AuthorWritten by David, with review and approval by Lisa before posting Archives
January 2018
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